We are taught to doubt ourselves, doubt our dreams, focus on our “flaws”. Then we wonder why so much unhappiness underlies our society. Who hasn’t struggled with this? Let’s try the opposite, and reclaim our self-love. Instead of feeling weird and unsure because we’re “different”, let’s celebrate our uniqueness. Instead of focusing on what’s “wrong” with our bodies, let’s embrace them. Instead of settling for what’s safe or accepted, let’s follow our hearts and dreams. “How?” you ask, read on ~
We have the ability and power to choose how we feel about ourselves. Yes we’ve been conditioned a certain way, but we can undo the conditioning. We need to get back in touch with ourselves, really hearing ourselves, not getting distracted by the static that clouds our true intuition.
Some people believe that a person cannot truly change. I completely disagree with this. And in fact, I am an example that you can change. I have turned self-loathing into self-love and I don’t intend on turning back. Through intensive work we can create new pathways in our brains – re-wiring so to speak. It’s not easy or fast, and unfortunately at this moment in history those things are highly valued. It takes work, but the freedom of liberating yourself from limiting/negative/obsessive thoughts is euphoric!
So how does one do this?
One option is to work with a therapist. But with enough discipline and determination, you can do it on your own as well. Here are some ways to start:
1. Think of one thought-pattern you have that you would like to change. It may be something you’ve been stuck in the rut of thinking for years.
2. Now envision what you would prefer that thought-pattern to lead to instead. Have a clear endpoint for it.
3. The next time that thought process begins, consciously shift your mind to land on the new destination. You will have to very consciously re-route that thought for quite a while before the new pathway is formed.
4. Stay mindful of your thoughts and how it feels when you land on the destination of the new pathway versus the old one. There should be a sense of reward for the new one so your brain will crave to go there again.
5. Then move on to the next thought-pattern, and repeat the steps above.
Take the Challenge: I challenge you to try this with one thought-process starting this week. We are the creators of our own realities to a certain extent. You are in charge of how you process things. The very same reality can seem drastically different to the same person merely by choosing a different way to look at it or think about it. *Try this, and let me know how it goes in the comments below.
You decide your reactions
Having confidence in yourself and trusting yourself (as long as you don’t go all the way to full-on narcissism) can only lead to good things. It’s the doubts that direct us down the wrong roads. The inner nagging that we often nurture is what brings us down. Being surrounded by a culture that constantly wants us to “fix” ourselves or fit into one of a few molds is exhausting, and ultimately unhealthy.
The Power of Creativity
Acting on your inner creativity is one of the most surefire ways to get in touch with yourself and express what’s in you. Having our creativity stifled is harmful to the soul. The more expressions of uniqueness that are shared with the world, the more interesting and exciting it is!
- Think back to what lit you up before life took over. There was a joy to it.
- When we’re connected to that joy, self-love becomes easier.
- When we distance ourselves from what we truly love, often we’re more able to be influenced by the outside sources telling us we’re not good enough.
- Take the time to discover or re-discover what it is that sets your soul on fire. Once you’ve identified the thing(s) start actively incorporating or re-incorporating them into your life
Collectively we can begin to change this
It’s within our power to shift this. It starts with our own thoughts. Then there are actions such as not reading/boycotting certain magazines/newspapers/websites that lead to the narrative that we are not good enough. See the good in other people. Noting their talents and attributes in no way diminishes our own. Let’s propagate hope over fear, acceptance over discrimination, love over hate (including self-love over self-hate), etc.
Cultures are constantly changing and morphing. We can contribute to more positive shifts. We can embrace and promote a message of self-love till it infiltrates the veins of our society. It’s in our hands, if only we have the courage to proceed together.
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